I have a fruit fly infestation that broke out over the weekend. Annoying things – they were in my kitchen, laundry closet, and bathroom. I set up apple cider vinegar traps and drowned several dozen, but there were more still drifting around. So I indulged.

See, I’ve been on a financial fast since returning from Europe. No spending outside of food, household bills, and books for my mythology class (it’s new this term, so I do need some new materials). But the flies were obnoxious enough to get RMR to break my fast and get this gadget:

It’s an electrified tennis racket, yes. When I hold down the button on the side the wires zap anything that comes in contact with them. Within minutes of putting the batteries in I electrocuted a full classroom of flies (and yes, I may have been using it for a bit of catharsis for my 5th period).

It did make me feel a bit like a crotchety old woman, stalking around my house, peering at the walls and swinging my racket at seemingly-empty air while my cat follows behind my every step. But oh, is that blue spark and ZAP noise satisfying after days of phantom itches on my arms.

(The really classy moment was when I spotted one right after dropping trou to use the loo. Nothing like cackling while waving a bug zapper in the air with my pants around my ankles to make me keenly aware that I’m turning 40 next week.)

The flies are definitely losing now. It was a good investment, one I might be tempted to bring along on future trips. If I ever go to Assateague again, I could light up the night with my handy friend.