It’s football season, which means it’s time to play dress up!
I’m referring, of course, to the bi-annual high school spirit week, which necessitates a series of themed costumes.
While I abstained as usual from the ever-popular “jersey day,” I do feel compelled to participate in the other costumes of the week. One of them posed a bit of a challenge this year, though: Superhero Day.
I pondered out loud what I should wear as Tiffany and I drove home from school the day before. “Just tie a sheet around your neck and call it good,” she said.
Clearly, she did not understand the obligations I am under as The Drama Teacher. Tie a sheet around my neck? Really? Without creating a personalized decal in color-coordinating fabric and lining the entire thing in something shiny first? I mean, has she even met me?
I banished the thought of a cape. It was too obvious, and it’s not yet the time of year when my sewing machine stays on my kitchen table. I needed a superhero that a) I liked and b) wore clothing that I already owned. Then, around 8:30 PM, inspiration struck:
Black dress? Check.
Black high-heeled boots? Check.
Blond hair? Well… not so much, and my blond wig was put out of commission by the last play we did. Purple hair will have to do.
Accessories? Hmm…. If I was going to be a vampire slayer, I needed a crucifix. Curse my Mormon devotion! Not a crucifix in sight. I’ll just have to make one.
My first attempt involved cutting bamboo skewers to size, wrapping them together with string, sealing the string with candle wax, then coating the whole thing with a bit of spray paint.
It turned out well:
…but then I discovered that I had no way to hang it as a pendant.
So I busted out the soldering kit and my jewelry supplies and soldered myself a cross:
It’s a but rougher on the edges than the first version, but it works!
The necklace was too subtle, though. There are plenty of students and staff at MTHS who wear crosses on a daily basis, and I wanted to stand out.
I needed a stake.
And that’s how I wound up using a butcher knife to whittle the handle of my meat mallet to a point:
But to too much of a point. It was for school after all:
I spray-painted the rest of the meat mallet handle to give it more of a “fresh stick” look, and my accessories were done!
It was subtle enough that many students didn’t even realize I was in costume until I pulled Mr. Pointy out of my boot. They liked it, and were impressed by my soldering. “I can picture you spending your weekend making props like this,” one of them commented as he admired my rough carving.
“The weekend?” I scoffed. “Try 10:00 PM last night!”
Such is my measure of devotion – enough to stay up late carving a fake vampire stake, but not enough to buy a sports jersey.